Tag Archives: marriage

Relationship Advice #9

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“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord  not for men.”  Colossians 3:23

Our wedding day

Rachel and Jake,

For the past few years I have written to you here, here, and here with a variety of relationship advice for you to use in your everyday life.  Your Mama’s “pearls of wisdom,” as I like to call them, are not meant for mastery but more for your own reflection.  These little pieces of advice that I give are things that I am working on myself in my relationships and are in no way anything that I have mastered or do day in and day out.  Simply put, each year when your father’s and my anniversary rolls around, I reflect on what I have learned over the last year or what stuck out as the most pressing piece of advice I want to share with you.

When the time comes for you to get married, my hope is that you’ll be able to see what it takes to make a marriage last for a lifetime.  Your father and I have committed to the vows we made before God to love, honor and cherish each other as long as we live. It’s a large scale promise that can only be fulfilled by purposely choosing how we make up those day-to-day moments that create a lifetime of loving each other. What do those moments look like? Well, sweet little ones, that’s what I hope these posts will help you understand.

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{Relationships are a lot like sledding.  You have to mentally prepare yourself beforehand, get all of the tools you need in place and then you get to enjoy the ride! When you think you’re done, you just get back up, climb the hill again and head back down for some more adventure! Important note–It’s more fun if you enjoy the people you are sledding with.}

So, here it is, relationship advice number nine. It might sound a bit odd, but just bear with me here: get a hobby.  Yes, that’s right, a hobby.  The key to happiness does not rely on  relationships alone.  You need to be able to find things that make you feel happy and content and confident in yourself because as you will find in your life, and I’m sorry to say this, but people and relationships will sometimes disappoint you.  You need to be able to find satisfaction and fulfillment outside of relationships so that when the chips are down you can still have something that brings happiness into your life. On the flip side of that, your hobby will allow you to share your joy with others and many times will bring new and varied relationships in to your life.   God has given you specific interests and skill sets for a reason–it is up to you to develop and explore the natural talents He has given you!IMG_3135

Relationship Advice #9: Get a hobby. It could even be something that doesn’t have to involve the other person at first, if you want.  “How does that work?,” you might wonder. Or “What does that have to do with anything?” Well, that’s the beauty of this blog, just let me tell you…

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According to the researchers at the School of Medicine at Temple University, engaging in a hobby awakens the area of the brain that produces positive feelings and reduces stress.  Doing a particular task that you enjoy can enhance your ability to concentrate and encourages self-motivation and increases self-confidence.  All of these can have a profound impact on your relationship with those around you.

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Over the past few years your father and I have developed several hobbies.  Some we share with each other, and some we do completely on our own. Having a hobby that we can share together is a fun way to connect with each other, especially during these years when most of our conversation centers around you.  For example, in the past year or so your Dad and I have started exploring craft beers together.  We enjoy trying new beers together and finding beers for each other that we think we might like.  Sometimes we are surprised at how well we know the other person’s taste!

After you are in bed for the night, sometimes we will try a new beer together while we talk about the day or anything else that might be on our mind.  It’s a way for us to purposefully make an effort to connect with each other. Recently your Dad has even started learning how to brew his own beer with a friend.  I fully support that endeavor and enjoy reaping the benefits of it as well! IMG_3656.JPG

Photography has been a bit of an outlet for me lately.  I enjoy taking pictures and have been blessed to be able to share some of the joy that you, my children, bring me through sharing my photos with others.  I have been humbled that other people have chosen me to take their family photos and am loving some of the experiences and doors that photography has opened up for me.  It was completely unexpected, but it was an outlet your father (and some really great friends) encouraged me to explore!

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It’s no secret that your Dad has always been in to cars and Corvettes especially.  When we first started dating I thought “Go to a car show? Really??” Sometimes your friend or spouse might have a hobby that you are “just not that into.” And that’s ok! But, please try to like it for that other person.  There is always something that can be gained from new experiences.  Something that brings joy to your friend or partner can in some way bring joy to you too.  Even if it’s just spending time together or having something that you do together to support each other–it’s important!

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Who knows, some day you may like it and end up taking your kids there and posing them beside sweet Corvettes that you never really appreciated before your relationship began.  You might realize that it’s really not that bad, after all.  And when you find yourself saying “Hey, want to take the Corvette out and take pictures of it on some crazy back road I found?” you’ll realize that your two worlds have collided in the best way possible and then you’ll realize that the things that you thought were weird in your younger years really aren’t that bad after all.  Because in the end, my little ones, it’s all about supporting each other and bringing parts of yourself into a relationship.

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Trying something new can be a good thing when you look at it as an adventure or as a way to learn about new things.  In fact, we should welcome change and new opportunity into our lives because it helps evolve who we are as a person. Our lives weren’t meant to be stagnant.  You will grow and change throughout your lifetime and you want to be sure that you surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you and support your interests too.

If you want someone who is going to support you, then you need to be willing to do that for them, as well.  Being a good friend requires having a willingness to grow and bond over new experiences.  After all, no two  people are ever exactly the same.  Everyone comes in to a relationship with their own set of experiences and beliefs that can impact the way they view certain situations. Celebrate those differences, encourage others to pursue what makes them happy and enjoy the ride as they find their place in this world.

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I’ll leave you with one final thought, which happens to be an excerpt from an exceptional author.  Read these words and try to let them really sink in.  It took me a long time before I finally got the gist of what he meant.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.  Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.  Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.  Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.  Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are along though they quiver with the same music.  Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.  For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.  And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. ~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

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I love you more than you will ever know.  To the moon and back.

Love always,

Mommy

ps. Happy 9th Anniversary, Tim! Thank you for always supporting me and encouraging me and for helping me find my hobby!

 

Relationship Advice #8

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“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:34

Our wedding day

Our wedding day

Rachel and Jake,

Another year has passed since I last wrote to you about relationships.  If you need a refresher, you can look here and here to see some of my other entries about love and what it takes to make a relationship work.  Now I’m not saying I have all the answers, because I don’t.  Marriage is work and it is hard, hard work.  But with that being said, it’s also the best kind of work.  It stretches you and helps you to grow and see yourself as a part of something that is working for a common good.  It’s a beautiful thing, really.  Anyway, my hope is that by the time you are old enough to read this blog you will have a nice collection of advice from your dear old mom to consider when navigating through the dating world and eventually settling down into marriage–then the real fun begins! Each year I hope to give you one more tip to add to  your Rolodex of relationship advice (not sure what a Rolodex is? It’ll probably be non-existent by the time you can read this, but as your mother I find it most appropriate to talk about the things from yesteryear anyway 😉 )

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Let’s talk a little bit about presence.

Ok, ok, I’m sorry, but we’re going to talk a lotta bit about presence, because it is very, very important in any stage of any relationship.

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When you, Rachel, were born, your Dad and I had no idea what the every day expectation of having a newborn was going to consist of.  We knew that we would feed you and change you and hopefully get to rest when you did, but we did not know what our new little family of three was going to look like and how those dynamics of our family would be shaped.  It’s something that you just can’t experience or fully prepare for until it happens! We had lots of conversations about what we thought it would be like, but looking in from an outsider’s perspective before something happens is always different from when you are 100% in the trenches living it day in and day out. By the time Jake was born, we had a better picture of what our expectations were–but again, you can never really be prepared until you are living it.  So once Jake was born, things were shifted and moved around in ways that we could not have foreseen, but it just worked for us.

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Rachel, my sweet little dear, I have a confession to make to you right now.  From the time you were born until the time you were about one week old, I did not change a single diaper.  Your Dad changed every. single. one. until you were nearly a week old.  Every single one.  Every single time.  I still get blown away when I think about that.  There I was on the couch after a tough delivery that left me in pain to move any ol’ which way I tried, and there was your Dad (never having changed a diaper before you, by the way), taking it upon himself to change your diaper no matter what time of day or night without giving so much as an inkling that he felt it should or even could be any other way.  Luckily, when Jake was born my recovery was much easier so luckily for us both, I was able to help out much more the second time around.

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Before you were born, I thought it was only a mother’s instinct that would cause her to wake up because her newborn baby was stirring in the bassinet beside her, ready to be fed.  And yet, each time either of you woke up at night, guess who was the one to get out of bed and bring you to me before I even had a chance to sit up? Yes, it was your Dad.  From the very beginning of our parenting experience he has been there for us with an enthusiasm and outlook that can only come from love in it’s most pure form.  He’s there because he loves us and he wants to be there.  It really is as simple as that.

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There isn’t a job that he won’t do. He has never handed either of you off to me because he doesn’t want to change a diaper, and he doesn’t ask me what I’m making you for lunch. If he’s playing with you and your diaper needs changed, he changes it! If he notices that it’s time for lunch, guess what? He makes it! And likewise, I do the same.  It’s truly a wonderful thing.  In your Dad’s and my mind–there are no “woman” or “man” jobs, there are only “parent” jobs.  And for those jobs, either one–mom or dad– will work.  Our expectation is that whoever is able to do it, does it. At the end of the day, we clean up the toys together, we put the dishes away and prepare things for the next day.  Oh yeah, your school lunches? Those aren’t always packed by me either–your Dad can cut sandwiches into sailboats better than I can!

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The best part, is that these are things we didn’t even talk about ahead of time.  These examples (and there are many more to go along with them!) are just some of the ways that your Dad has been there for us without ever even giving it a second thought.  Not keeping score, not throwing it all on one person, but really choosing over and over again to be there for us in every way possible.

So…without further adieu, here’s relationship tip #8.

Tip #8: Be with someone whose second nature is to be physically, spiritually and emotionally present in your relationship.

Choose someone who not only wants to be there in those ways–but someone who really does not see any other way of conducting themselves in your relationship without those things.  Begging for support in any of those areas can be totally draining to both sides.  Choose someone who will meet your expectations in each of those areas.  If your expectations are not met, it can lead to resentment and hard feelings–both of which can be toxic to any relationship.  In the entire picture of your life, your relationship should be equally balanced between two people who are willing to sacrifice and give in order to make it work.  BOTH people need to be present in order for those sacrifices to be made and valued.

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In closing, here are some questions to ask yourself when trying to determine if you and your spouse are really and truly present in your relationship.

– Do I offer help with every day tasks without keeping score? Do I see what needs to be done and do it, or do I wait because it’s not my “job”? Do I value my partner enough to go outside of my comfort zone in order to help my partner feel supported?

– Do I know the spiritual concerns of my partner? What can I do to help my partner along in their spiritual journey? What do they feel called towards? How can I help them reach their calling?

– What is troubling my partner today? What is my partner proud of themselves for doing recently? What is my partner’s emotional climate like? Why? What can I do to help support my partner’s feelings and emotions?

Don’t worry–you got this! And if you don’t, your partner will be there to help you pick up the slack! 🙂 Right?

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With all that said, I love you both very much. More than you could ever know.

Love always,

Mommy

xoxo

PS. Let’s just take a minute and cheers to your Dad! He truly is one of the best one’s out there…Cheers to you, Tim! We wouldn’t be who or where we are today without you! Happy Anniversary! Here’s to a hundred, and a thousand more.

Happy Easter 2015

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Happy Easter, my little sweeties! What a fun day we had filled with candy, Easter baskets, songs and a wonderful message shared later in the day by my sweet girl about how Jesus makes us “clean” again (Thank you, Miss Dani!)

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It is because of the sacrifice Jesus made by dying on the cross for us that we have reason to celebrate today.  Always know that Easter is not just about the candy and eggs, but that it signifies a promise fulfilled and a love so strong that it was willing to go to any length to sacrifice for you.

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Some people put much emphasis on telling others that they love them…a spouse, a friend, a child; but Easter reminds us that real love is more than just words.  Real love requires action and sacrifice.  Jesus dying on the cross is the perfect example of the ultimate sacrifice to display the ultimate love.  I challenge you, my little ones who will one day grow into adults, to show the world your love not just in words alone, but also through your actions. The choices that you make and the sacrifices you endure will show the world (and yourself) where the intention of your heart lies.  Love the ones who are the most difficult to love, reach out to those who need your help the most, sacrifice your time being of service to others.  Volunteer your time, your energy and your heart.  Do what you can to make the world a better and more loving place.  By choosing to live a life of actionable love, you will get to know the Father’s love for you (and all of us) in ways you would never have known before.

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Romans 8:1

I love you to the moon and back. Forever and always.

Love always,

Mommy

xoxoxo

Happy New Year

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This New Year’s eve, Tim and I have decided to ring in the new year while gorging our faces with delicious food while catching up on episodes of Downton Abbey.  We’ll go in and kiss our babes at midnight and probably let Rachel con us into sleeping in our bed.  These days, huge New Year’s parties are put to the wayside for a quiet night in with our favorite kids and tv shows.  It’s not elaborate, it’s not fancy or wildly exciting, but is still extremely and deeply fulfilling.  Life is good.

2014 was a great year for our family.  We spent much of the year learning and growing as a family of 4. I have included a montage of some of my favorite memories from the past year.  Looking forward, I can’t wait to see what 2015 has in store for us.  I am so blessed and thankful to be going through this life with my littles and my sweet husband (who a lot of times just doesn’t get enough credit for all that he does for us!).

 

Happy New Year’s eve, everyone! May 2015 be all that you hope it to be.

Love,

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

Relationship Advice #7

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Rachel and Jake,

Last year I wrote to you about what I felt to be some pretty important relationship advice.  I plan to continue to do that each year on your father’s and my anniversary as a way to share with you some things that I have learned about what it takes and what it means to grow in love.  I am not an expert, just a Mama trying to share my thoughts on what can make a marriage work in today’s “what have you done for me, lately” world.  Maybe by the time you are older the world won’t be so “me focused.” …I hope that is the case!

So, without further adieu, here is your #7 relationship tip from your dear old Mom.

#7.) Remember Who you were made for.  

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

rachelandjakeIt’s hard to really articulate this piece of advice, because it’s something that needs to be more of a “belief” or a way of thinking rather than something I could just tell you so that you’d remember to apply it to your life.  Society today (and I’d imagine it would be even more so in the next coming years) tends to objectify both women and men.  Some people can look at women and men as an object or as something that should please them (ex. “She shouldn’t wear that type of bathing suit when she looks like that.”  or “Wow, I want to date him–he makes a lot of money!” ).

My advice to you–You are not an object or something to be used in order to please another person.  You are not disposable and should never be treated as such in a relationship.  You belong to God, and He loves you unconditionally just the way you are.  He knows your struggles and your strengths and will always be there for you when you need Him.

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This is similar to the way your relationship should be with your spouse.  When you get married, the vows you take bind you to your spouse for an eternity.  It is not just an earthly commitment that is a convenient tax break or until something better comes along.  When you say “I do” you are saying that you promise to love that person for an eternity.  Yes, you might have some cool looking “bling” on your finger because of it, but your rings are simply an outward symbol for the seal on your heart binding you to your spouse.  Although you are married, it is important that you both recognize that even though you love each other more than any other person on this earth, your greatest love is waiting for you in heaven.  Your spouse should be someone who recognizes that this life is not all there is in store for you.  You and your spouse should be  a team that works together so that you can both reach your highest potential while you are here on earth.  That sounds like a big job–and when looking at it as a whole picture, it can sound pretty overwhelming– so here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help see if your spouse is helping you reach your full potential.

1.) What is the big picture of our relationship? Where are we headed? Do we work together towards a common goal that we both feel called towards?  If not, what can we do to change that?

2.) Do we encourage each others thoughts, dreams and desires? Do we value the life path that our spouse has chosen?

3.) Are we communicating effectively to get our thoughts and feelings across in a respectful yet direct way?

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If you answer no to one or all of these questions, then one or both of you may end up feeling defeated or not valued in your relationship.  When one person is unhappy, it can change the dynamics of your relationship and your life.  Work hard to make each other happy in a way that lifts your partner up to be the best they can be.  Be careful that you do not objectify each other in a “what have you done for me lately” kind of way or think that the other person is there specifically to please you, you are worth more than that.  Remember–life is not just about you, it’s about Him!

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When your dad and I were married (7 years ago today!) we both had common goals for where we wanted to be in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc. We knew we wanted to be married for a few years before we had children and we hoped and prayed that we would be blessed as parents one day.  We knew we wanted to retire early and live out our golden years on the beautiful beaches of North Carolina.  Our beliefs are similar, our goals are similar and our overall outlook on life is similar.  I’m not saying it can’t be done without these things, I’m just saying that life will be smoother for you if these things align.

I love you both very much.  More than you could ever know.

Love always,

Mommy

xoxo

Love is Patient, Love is Kind…

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This guy deserves a medal!

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I have been so emotional lately dealing with all of the stress that a pregnancy can bring. Admittedly, I have taken  out my stress on the people who mean the most to me.  Few people have escaped my wrath in the past week, and if you were one of them, consider yourself lucky! My husband was not one of the lucky ones…

At the drop of a hat, I would find myself full of rage over nothing (like not having cheese cubes to snack on…seriously?!!) and then curled up in a ball crying over the same thing thirty seconds later.  It has definitely been a wild week full of unexpected outbursts that left me feeling frustrated and confused.  I didn’t experience any of that during my pregnancy with Rachel, and have been reminded once again that every pregnancy is different.  Unfortunately, many times this week I found myself taking my anger and frustration out on my husband, Tim.

My two sweeties

My two sweeties

Fortunately for me, my husband took all of my extreme mood swings in stride and never once made me feel like a lunatic or that I was going crazy.  He tried to calm me down when he could and let me cry it out when he knew he couldn’t.  And still, every night, he would kiss me good night and tell me that he loved me.

Rachel and Daddy

Rachel and Daddy

This man that I love so much– who cares for our daughter in ways that I can not even express adequately in words, who loves me unconditionally even when I feel that I do not deserve it, and who expresses his love in such gentle and thoughtful ways- is the best friend that I have ever had, and one of the most kindhearted individuals I have ever met.  Did you know that I can count on one hand how many times I have put gas in my car since we have been married? Or that he gets up early with Rachel every Saturday so that I can sleep in? Or that he would prefer to buy me diamonds for special occasions than buying random flower bunches throughout the year as a sign of his love? (Of course, I tell him he can feel free to get both! 😉 ) He has saved every card I have ever given him and has a box of things that chronicle our relationship from it’s very beginning.  He is strong, he is caring, he is intelligent, he is compassionate, he is my husband…and he is amazing. He loves basketball, has a passion for Corvettes, pushes himself as a runner, a golfer and a snowboarder,  and most importantly, he puts his family first, always.

Taking Rachel on her fist ride on a Merry Go Round

Taking Rachel on her fist ride on a Merry Go Round

My husband is a gift from God to me, and he is always reminding me through his actions of what it means to love someone unconditionally.  When I yelled at him this week over something ridiculous and petty, that wasn’t even his fault, he had the strength (that I probably would not have had) to not lash out back at me.  Just another reminder of the strong and compassionate person that I married and that I am truly blessed to have him by my side.

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Each day, without failing, when Tim returns home from work, Rachel runs to give him a hug, throwing herself in his arms, chanting “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” and my heart melts a little bit more at their pure and complete love for each other.  What a blessing this man is to our family! Rachel thinks her Daddy hung the moon…and I might just have to agree with her!

Relationship Advice: 6 Things I Want You to Know

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Our wedding day

Our wedding day

Dear Rachel,

Today your Daddy and I celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary! I hope that someday you are blessed to share the type of love that Daddy and I share.  It is truly one of the best things in life! While we are not perfect, and our marriage is not perfect, we have made it a priority to do as much as we can to be the best we can be in our marriage and ourselves—for each other, and for you, sweet one.  Your Daddy and I have spent nearly 10 years building our relationship and growing in love with one another.  We have not been married for many, many years (yet!), but we have dealt with many struggles that come with life (someday I’ll tell you about them…but not now) but we have shared many more happy times together as well!

Since this blog is for you, and your soon-to-be baby brother, and any other siblings you may be blessed with in the future, I want to share some advice when it comes to relationships and love.  Sorry, it’s just what Mom’s do! We feel the need to nurture you and help you grow in any and all ways we know how.  Someday when you read this (and I’m not sure yet when that will be), I hope you know how much I love you and want what is best for you.  Already I pray for your future spouse and your children, just as I have prayed for you since I was a little girl.  Since your Daddy and I have been married for six years, here are six things (in no particular order) you should always remember when it comes to relationships and love.  Keep in mind, I am not an expert in these things.  These are just things that I have learned from experience or advice that other people have given to me. Ready? Here we go…

1.)    You are here for a purpose.  

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Psalm 139:14

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5

YOU, my dear, are not a mistake.  You were put here on this earth to be someone special and to do great things.  When I say “great things,” I don’t mean you have to cure cancer (although, that would be amazing!), I mean that by being yourself and developing all the talents God has given you, you will be bound to do great things! Don’t think for a second that you do not have purpose or meaning in this world. Love yourself, and be a person of integrity and virtue.  You are a child of God, and He does not make mistakes. Ever.

2.)    Build a foundation based on sincere friendship.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Your parents-- hanging out and being silly!

Your parents– hanging out and being silly! circa 2005

When you find yourself wanting to start a new relationship, make sure it has a foundation rooted in deep and sincere friendship. If it doesn’t, you will be fighting an uphill battle from the beginning.  Finding someone who has similar values, goals and beliefs is crucial to the success of your relationship.  Life is full of ups and downs, and if you are able to trudge through it all with your best friend by your side then the ride will be that much smoother.  Don’t force a friendship though, if he happens to not be your type of friend—then he’s probably not your type of partner either! Differences on the small things don’t matter as much—but the big things, like life goals, family goals and religious beliefs matter A LOT! Make sure all these things align (at least closely) before you get too far in.  Developing a friendship where you can learn all of this ahead of time will help take care of all these things. 

3.)    Trust yourself.

 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20

There's a great big world out there, kiddo. Go and get any thing your heart desires!

There’s a great big world out there, kiddo. Go and get any thing your heart desires!

You are no dummy. If something seems like a red flag, it probably is.  Don’t waste your time thinking someone will change or that things will get better.  If you are dating a dud (or worse, married to a dud) find someone better!

Helpful Tip:  Almost everyone dates at least one “dud” in their lifetime, but don’t worry, it helps us to appreciate the good ones even more! And trust me, the good ones ARE out there!

4.)    Be willing to “give” as much as you are willing to “take”.

“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38

Life isn't always about doing the things that you want to do.

Life isn’t always about doing the things that you want to do. Make sure you are both willing to do things the other person wants to do.  And who knows, you might even end up liking it!

This one can sometimes be hard to do.  It’s not always fun doing “boring” or “silly” things that your partner wants to do.  But, it builds character and helps develop and cultivate your relationship with each other.  Sometimes we have to do things like that to show the other person that we care.  “Giving” in a relationship is just as important as “taking.”  If someone is always “taking” and never “giving” then you probably need to reevaluate your relationship, or lack thereof.  Balance is key.

Helpful tip: Don’t keep specific tabs on how much you give or how much your partner takes, just be sure that it feels about even when you look at the whole scheme of your relationship.  Some months you may give more than you take, or take more than you give and that’s ok, too. 

 

5.)    Be with someone who will encourage you and inspire you to do your best in all areas of life.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” 

Hebrews 10:24

You are meant to do great things!

You are meant to do great things!

Your ideal partner will inspire you to be the best version of yourself just by being who they are.  If someone drags you down—leave, and leave quickly! You are meant to do great things, don’t let anyone (and I mean anyone), tell you or make you feel differently.

6.)    It’s OK to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

Give yourself proper "think time" when things go wrong.

Give yourself proper “think time” when things go wrong.

Let’s face it–mistakes happen.  Mistakes can be disappointing at times, but there is something to be learned in every mistake.  Be open to the idea that you are not perfect and that you will fail at things.  Be ready to face your mistakes, to say you are sorry and to move on from them.  Most importantly, learn from your mistakes.  Life isn’t always happy, but if you are accepting of the fact that mistakes will be made and lessons will be learned, then your perspective of failure will change.  There is nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake, in fact, it shows strength and helps you grow

Helpful tip: If someone is never willing to admit they made a mistake; that is a red flag!

 

Most of all, I hope that no matter what you always feel loved, cared for and valued.  You deserve the best that this world has to offer.  We have some time before you start dating (a lot of time, you know, like 30 years ;)) but I hope that as you grow I can teach you all of these things so that you learn to value yourself and others.  I hope that you are able to find love like your Daddy and I share.

Love always,

Mommy